On the Mother: Pages From a Sadhak’s Diary

In her childhood, said the Mother, she was afraid of fires. One day a lamp fell from her hand, on her bed, and the bed caught fire. She managed to extinguish the fire. But her heart beat fast on account of fear.

While she was in Japan, there was a factory just by the side of her house. It was a house built of wood like most houses in Japan in those days. One day, a fire broke out in the factory, and cinders began to fall on her house. Flames were also spreading fast.

But she remained absolutely calm and full of peace, and there was no fear.

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Gratitude is the surest means to Grace, and Grace is the surest means of success. But is true gratitude possible in this earth-consciousness of ours?

The Mother said:

“Even in my childhood I was full of gratitude. And I am even now grateful for the things that I received during my childhood. People will always say, ‘Oh, the Mother is divine, and so that is quite easy for the Mother.’ But I have taken this human body in order to see and experience all things of life… Every beautiful landscape, any beautiful object I saw filled me with gratitude. I was filled with gratitude on seeing children play.

“You cannot be fully grateful, because of two main reasons: ego or vanity, and selfishness.

“In the first case, you always think that it is you who are doing this and doing that; you are the centre of everything that goes on around you or in the world. In the second case, you are always asking things for yourself: ‘’Give me this, give me that.’ These are the two things that stand in the way.”

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“Could I have a hat, to protect me in the hot sun?”

“While I was in China,” replied the Mother, “I saw a man who used to walk about in the sun, without a hat. At first he had a sun-stroke. After he had recovered from it, he suffered from a headache for a long time. But after that, he got free from all sickness, and he could do without a hat. I tell you, ninety per cent of men die because of fear.”

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“Who are the people who displease you most?”

The Mother enumerated them as follows:

1) Those who are against the Divine—in our case those who are against Sri Aurobindo.

2) Those who are cruel to children.

3) Those who are unkind to weak and helpless persons.

4) Those who misuse their power.

5) Those who are cruel to animals and birds.

6) Those who lack sincerity.

7) Those who are harsh towards their subordinates.

If we take the word “sincerity” in the sense in which Sri Aurobindo and the Mother use it, we must feel helpless; because very few people possess that quality. We have to take the Mother here to imply that those who really do not make an effort to be sincere are the ones who lack sincerity.

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“What are the things that help one to keep open to the Mother?”

The Mother mentioned the following:

1) Taking the Mother’s Name is helpful.

2) Meditation also helps; but it is more difficult if one is not accustomed to meditation.

3) Reading the Mother’s books is good.

4) It is very good to spend time in thoughts about the Mother.

5) Sincere prayer is helpful.

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On the question of food, the Mother’s comments ran:

To judge people from their external movements is a foolishness. Those who are capable of transforming themselves will be transformed, no matter whether they eat fish or meat or drink wine.

One may lead the life of an ascetic for a hundred years, living on a vegetarian diet, and may not get transformed if one has not the capacity for it.

Sri Aurobindo once said that it is not possible in this world to observe complete ahimsa (non-killing). We kill living things at every step.

He gave up taking fish, meat and wine simply because of the Mother’s request.

The kind of food served in the Ashram is for the sake of convenience and for no other reason.

The Mother breaks the mental and moral principles of people, because this yoga is not based on mental and moral principles.

There are some developed souls here in the Ashram, who have been known to the Mother since the beginning of Creation. They are here for the Work of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. There are some who are on the way to full development. There are others who are souls that are just budding:

The Mother has promised her help to all, and she has been giving them all her utmost help. Some may die and some may go away. But nothing will stop the progress of their souls.

In future, if she thinks it necessary, she can create the necessary form of body for many of these souls who are here, and can bring them back to the physical world for the sake of her Work.

It is wrong to imagine however that the Mother will do everything for us. Very often, we are lazy and we expect the Mother to do things for us. But if we try sincerely, the Mother’s help will be there, and we can progress endlessly.

Our progress is not in a straight line; it follows a zig-zag course. We find an obstruction and turn to one side. And then the Mother gives us a push and we move to the other side.

But we should know it for certain that once we are here, there is no escape. We have no other alternative but to go on till the end is reached, in this life or in another.

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Though we may say that the Mother has endless Forms and that She is also above all forms, yet it is also true that She has a Form of her own.

A few people may have seen the Mother in her own Form.

It is possible for a sadhak to see the Mother in her four different Aspects and have experience of the four different Forces if She is pleased with him. But some may like Mahakali and some may like Durga; it depends on the individual.

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In the Mother’s Symbol, the four lotuses in the inner circle represent the four Aspects. The twelve lotuses in the outer circle give the number (signifying perfection in creation) which is the number for Aditi, the primal Consciousness-Force, the supreme Creatrix.

The lion is the symbol of Shakti, and is the vehicle of the Mahashakti, the Mother. The worshippers of the Mahashakti may have seen the lion in vision or meditation or dream. If one sees the lion playing with him or if it shows itself in a benevolent mood, it means that the Mahashakti is pleased with him; if the lion appears to be angry, it means her displeasure.

Love is the only thing that helps us realise the Mother; and it is the only way to approach her. Although our Mother is fond of roses, the flower (pomegranate flower) which She calls “Divine Love” is her own flower.

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Of the four Aspects of the Mother, Maheshwari is very fair, but a little pale. She is of a tolerant nature and does not demand immediate performance of our duty. She knows that we live in eternity and that there need not be a hurry for anything.

Mahakali never forgives anyone if she finds anything wrong in him. It is very difficult for us to know when Mahakali is present in the Mother. But if by chance we disregard or show disrespect to the Mother when Mahakali is present, we may be open to serious danger.

Mahalakshmi is extremely beautiful. She turns away her face from a sadhak if he fails to fulfil her conditions. She does not leave him for good, but keeps waiting at a distance till the proper conditions are created.

Mahasaraswati never leaves her devotee, nor does she give him blows, no matter what he does. She continues with her work, very carefully and patiently.

The lotus is the flower of Maheshwari, javā (named Power by the Mother) is Mahakali’s flower, the water lily is that of Mahalakshmi, and the flowers named “Sincerity” and “Perfection in works” those of Mahasaraswati.

Besides these four, there is the Ananda Aspect of the Mother.

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These Forces and Personalities of the Mother come to her either one by one or they come all of them together.

But all these Forces, however powerful they may be, are nothing but playthings to the Mother when compared with her direct Force. We must always remember that the Mother is the Supreme Mahashakti and the source of all her Powers and Personalities.

Nevertheless, the Mother sometimes allows Mahakali to act, simply in order to teach us a lesson. Here is an actual instance I have seen with my own eyes.

A strong young sportsman of the Ashram once behaved rudely with the Mother in my presence. He was in his best sporting form and it was expected that he would come out first in many of the athletic events. But to my surprise his first long jump was a failure, and in the second attempt he injured his knees and fell flat on the ground. The boy was shaking all over and asked me the reason. I reminded him of his conduct towards the Mother and advised him to pray to the Mother to forgive him. He did so, but I came to know that the Mother had actually protected him from the wrath of Mahakali, and simply allowed her to teach him a lesson.

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We Indians have a firm faith in Grace, and the Power of Grace is limitless.

The Mother once described to her son Monsieur André Morisset how he had been saved from a catastrophe during the Great War. He was then a Lieutenant in the army. About a dozen artillery men led by him had been surrounded by the enemy. One by one, all the gunners were killed, but at the last moment some men from the French army came to his rescue and he was saved.

The Mother’s Grace can save people from imminent death even when they are not disciples or intimately connected with the Mother. A lady friend of Mr. and Mrs. X (both of them are inmates of the Ashram) was lying mortally ill in Bombay and the doctors had given up all hope. The husband sent them a photograph of the sick lady and requested them to pray to the Mother for her recovery. The Mother looked at the photo and said that it was too late. But Mr. and Mrs. X went on praying to the Mother. She looked at the photo once again, and the next day news came from Bombay that the lady was free from danger.

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There is a common belief that the Mahashakti favours rich people, even though they may be dishonest and that money may not always come to honest people. Since many rich men spend their money on noble causes and endow temples and churches, hospitals and educational institutions, the Power of the Mahashakti is always acting behind them. So we think.

The question arises: if some of these rich people are really bad, why should they be favoured by the Mahashakti?

The Mother says that it is very difficult to understand these things with the human mind. The truth of the matter is that the world at present is governed by the Asura who calls himself the Lord of the Nations. All the institutions of the world are under this Asuric influence. If they are to be regarded as being directly guided by the Mahashakti, the Mother would call Her a rogue. And there would be no need to change ourselves or the world.

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The Mother said that during sleep we generally go out of the body. There is hardly one in a thousand who is an exception to this rule. The mind goes out to seek its own satisfaction, and the vital to fulfil its desires.

If one is very tired when going to bed, one usually sinks into the inconscience, one loses touch with the higher consciousness, and awakes in the morning tired and depressed.

It is very seldom that one goes into a higher consciousness during sleep.

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One should know how to take rest and sleep.

If one cannot sleep at night, one should not make an effort to do so.

It is better to relax the body and make the mind and vital quiet at bed-time. Before falling asleep, it is always good to meditate or concentrate on the Mother. One can pray to the Mother that the consciousness may remain with her during sleep.

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To keep the vital quiet, one should be absolutely free from all excitement, and use one’s will to keep it quiet.

The will can be developed little by little, as one develops the muscles of the body by systematic exercise.

The vital is very fond of repeating things. So we must exercise our will-power again and again to keep it quiet.

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Why is the Mother much more sweet in our dreams than in our waking state? Because, the Mother says, in dreams we approach her through our vital or psychic and not through the physical body.

Besides the people of the Ashram, many others come to the Mother in their sleep; some of them are not even known to her.

To meet the Mother in dreams is very beneficial. If we learn how to sleep correctly, we are sure to meet her now and then.

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All these people who live in the Ashram dwell in the Mother’s consciousness. So, she can know each movement of everyone of them, if she wants.

Sometimes she is affected by our wrong movements. And although she is herself absolutely immune from any attacks of illness, and has no illness of her own, yet we can throw these things on her and it takes her some effort to get rid of them.

It is true that the Mother has the power to reject these things. But she accepts or rejects them according to the necessities of the situation. Sometimes she accepts them for our benefit. Sometimes these things take the Mother unawares.

For example, one day while playing tennis, someone received an injury to his right eye. It hurt him much. But suddenly he found himself free from all pain. When the game was over, he found that the Mother taken his pain on herself and there was a mark on her right eye.

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Many things will remain unknown about the ways the Mother has helped people.

In the days of Hitler’s sweeping victories, the Mother came to know of the danger threatening India. The Japanese were secretly planning to invade India and it was revealed to the Mother that they were quietly advancing like an octopus to take India in their grip. She at once brought the matter to Sri Aurobindo’s notice, and he saved Mother India by his Power.

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There is a general belief that the offering of food, etc. to the Mother for the departed souls helps them a lot. This is not so, for after leaving the body, the soul rests in the psychic world and assimilates its experiences.

There is no fixed time for the soul for its rebirth. It may come back to the earth after a year, or after a hundred years.

Even, it may happen that on coming into a new body the soul does not find the body suitable and then it leaves it. It sometimes enters the body at the time of birth; sometimes it comes later.

What helps the departed soul most are the good wishes that accompany the offerings, and not the offerings themselves.

When a woman comes back to this world, she generally prefers a female body, and a man a male body. They seldom like to have it otherwise.

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There have been many outstanding spiritual figures among men, but how is it that they have been so rare among women? The Mother says that things are not quite like that. There have actually been many outstanding spiritual personalities among women.

But women are most interested in action than in mentalisation and intellectual expression. That is why very few have recorded their spiritual experiences, and thus they have remained unknown.

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There is some danger in doing pūjā (ceremonial worship) in the ordinary way.

Generally, the pūjā is performed through priests who are not always of a pure character; and often they think more about their dakṣiṇā (fees) than about the worship.

The worshipper too is full of desires, for money and power and other things, as a reward for his pūjā. This opens one to Asuric influences, which first tempt one with some little money and benefit, etc., and after a time destroy the whole family in many cases.

The best thing is to perform pūjā without any ulterior motives.

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There is a general belief that temples are holy places and that they are spiritually helpful. But that is not always the case. Most people go to the temples for the satisfaction of their desires, and so these places become abodes for unhealthy influences.

The Mother gave an example. In the early days in Pondicherry, she used to go out for long evening-drives in a car. One day, as she was passing by a famous temple, she met one of these evil forces from this temple. It was a very powerful hideous-looking being of the vital world. It sought the Mother’s collaboration in its work and tempted her in various ways. It did not know that it was playing with fire. Finally, it surrendered at the Mother’s feet.

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Desire is the real source of danger, and sex is the root of all desires, including the desire for wealth.

There is a huge snake—it is fifty times bigger than the ordinary snakes—which guards the wealth of the world on behalf of the Asura. When the Mother approached this snake and asked it for the wealth it guards, it agreed, but only one condition: the Mother must conquer the sex-consciousness on earth.

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Is it possible to make our old bodies young? Yes, it is possible, says the Mother, and it has even been done partially. But such a tapasyā is needed for the victory that few are ready to pay the price.

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