Sudha Sundaram: In Memoriam by Anurag Banerjee

Her name meant Nectar. And she indeed lived up to her name for whenever one was in her august presence, one could feel an atmosphere of bliss and peace enveloping the room. People would sit around her—some talked while others sat in silence but by the time everyone left, one could see the smile of meditative satisfaction on their faces. For each one of them gained spiritual delight inwardly through the silence that reigned in the room. And there she was—seated on a wooden chair—with a beatific smile that never faded away from her beautiful face. She was a patient listener—a quality possessed by only a few—an excellent host who conveyed much through her glance and welcoming smile. Such was Sudha Sundaram!

Sudha was born on 3 April 1937 to Mangalagauri and Tribhuvandas Luhar alias Sundaram (22 March 1908—13 January 1991), the doyen of Gujarati literature who had become a legend during his lifetime. Known for his works like Koya Bhagatni Kadvi Vaani ane Garibo nass Geeto (Bitter tongue of Koya Bhagat and Songs of the Poor), Kavyamangala (Auspicious Poems), Yatra, Unnayan, Tarini, Pavak-na Panthe, Vasanti-Purnima, Arvachin Kavita, Avalokana, Sahitya Chintan, Chidambara, Samarchana and Sa Vidya which ushered in a gust of freshness and a new spirit in Gujarati literature, he received the prestigious Sahitya Akademi Award in 1969, an honorary Doctor of Letters (D. Litt) by the Sardar Patel University in Vallabh Vidyanagar in 1976, the Padma Bhushan—the third highest Civilian award—in 1985 and the Shri Narsinh Mehta Award in 1990 from the Government of Gujarat for his contribution in the field of education and literature.

Sundaram (22 March 1908—13 January 1991)

Sundaram with his wife, Mangalagauri

Sundaram was a student of the National School which was started by Chhotulal Purani, brother of Ambalal Balkrishna Purani. The Purani brothers had established a chain of gymnasiums in various parts of Gujarat during the pre-Independence era so that the youngsters of the land could develop a strong and healthy body in order to participate in the freedom struggle of India. One evening, Sundaram saw a gentleman sitting on a well (covered with a cement slab) and looking away. This gentleman was Ambalal Purani. Sundaram went to him and asked some questions which were duly answered by him. At the time of parting, Purani said to Sundaram: “My boy, you have infinite number of questions. Why don’t you write to me on paper, send the letter to me and I will read it out to Sri Aurobindo. Whatever he says I will send you the answers.” Thus began a lifelong friendship between Sundaram and Purani. Though there was a lack of contact between both of them for quite some time, it was resumed in 1933 through an epistolary exchange which went on for a number of years.

Whenever Purani received any letter from Sundaram, he would read it out to Sri Aurobindo who would dictate the answers which Purani noted down and sent to Sundaram. Once, Purani showed a photograph of Sundaram to Sri Aurobindo and said: “This is Sundaram, our leading poet of Gujarat.” Sri Aurobindo looked at the photograph, remained silent for a while and then said: “He will one day come here.”

In 1935, Sundaram visited Pondicherry with his wife Mangalagauri to meet some of his old friends who had already settled in the Ashram of Sri Aurobindo as permanent inmates. When his friends asked him whether he would like to join them when they would be going to the Mother to make their obeisance to Her, Sundaram said: “I have never bowed to anyone. And I will not do my pranam to anyone.” His friends—without his knowledge—still asked the Mother whether Sundaram could come to pay his regards. The Mother replied: “No pranams for Sundaram!” When his friends returned and told Sundaram what the Mother had said, he realized that here was one person who truly understood him and his thinking and respected his feelings. He told himself: “Someday I will come to the Mother.” This incident drew him to the Mother and for the next ten years he prepared himself for the spiritual life he was to follow at the Ashram of Sri Aurobindo in Pondicherry.

In 1940 Sundaram visited Pondicherry and had the Darshan of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother for the first time. About the Darshan of Sri Aurobindo, he would write afterwards:

‘His [Sri Aurobindo’s] silence was still there, but it was not a silent silence, it did not shut out things, but rather opened out many things which the spoken word could not. He was there before us, not with his words, or his thoughts, or his so many programmes, but with something that is beyond the speech and the mind. He presented himself to us with his whole being reaching out to our self which is deeper in us than the mind and the word, touching, awakening our secret depths, so far even unknown to our own self, and beckoning and carrying us out of our present self to something far beyond all that is expressed in life, to the Thing that transcends all that is here…

‘Like a thirsty child I could hardly resist the drink that Sri Aurobindo offered to me. And I sought for the ways and means to integrate myself more and more with all that Sri Aurobindo was giving to me, not only to me, but to the whole world.

‘And I discovered that I was invited to a new revolution in everything that I had and I gratefully accepted the invitation. There came a moment when I could see that I could entirely offer myself for the work Sri Aurobindo was busy with. In the fulfilment of that work I could find that there was the complete fulfilment of all that I also had wanted to achieve. Thus there came about a complete union of my approach with his approach to life and to all that it contained, and to all that was to be added to it.

‘There happened a full merging of my life-flow into the great surging life-force that he embodied. It was a perfect sense of realising all that I wanted to realise in my little life. I offered myself to him and he accepted it.’ (In Awareness, pp. 432 and 434)

When Sundaram went to the Mother, he was absolutely transfixed with what he saw! Then he knelt down before the Mother and received Her blessings. Later he wrote about the Mother in one of his poems titled I Saw You:

From that far,

From so near,

I have seen you…

Gathering the sparks of the clustered stars

In her rose-red hands

Raised in blessing,

Her intent gaze seemed to say:

“I have known you for centuries,

And I have awaited you ever since.”

I implored her:

“Bestow on this impoverished earth,

A beauty, that everyone, from everywhere,

In every way could always receive.

From your compassion’s cascade,

May no one ever go unslaked.”

Her luminous lips shone more

In an answering smile.

Then from that luminous circling wheel

She snatched a shaft and shot at me

Her blade of beauty,

Her lips still bright with the same sweetness.

I sank into a soothing slumber.

Where did she strike,

I do not remember.

When my eyes awoke,

I saw you there on earth,

The self-same beauty, that very charm;

The symbol of my prayers

Perfected, personified.

Sundaram visited Pondicherry in 1943 and again in February 1945 to have the dual-Darshan of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother on the 21st. Since his own birthday was only a month away he decided to stay at Pondicherry till 22 March. On his birthday, when he went to the Mother, She held his palms firmly, looked straight into his eyes and said: “Sri Aurobindo says: ‘If Sundaram wants to stay on in the Ashram, he can stay.’”

Sundaram was overwhelmed with this act of Grace. However, as he had a wife and daughter to look after, he was hesitant to join the Ashram. So after a few days, he went to the Mother and asked: “What about my wife and child?” The Mother replied: “I will ask Sri Aurobindo.” Later when She conveyed to Sri Aurobindo the query of Sundaram, He asked back: “Why does he think of them?” On the next day, the Mother told Sundaram what Sri Aurobindo had said. After a week or two, one morning, the Mother told Sundaram: “Sri Aurobindo says: ‘Ask Sundaram to bring his wife and child here.’”

Thus, Sundaram’s wife Mangalagauri and daughter Sudha arrived at Pondicherry on 22 April 1945 with the help of some of his friends who had arranged for their voyage. While Sudha was enrolled in the Ashram School, Sundaram and Mangalagauri were given work at the Ashram Dining Room and Granary respectively. Afterwards Sundaram was given work at the recently established Ashram Press where he was put in charge of all the Gujarati publications of the Ashram.

As a child Sudha was aware that Sundaram used to go to Pondicherry for the Darshan of the Divine Mother. On one occasion she had plucked some flowers from the garden at her Ahmedabad residence, arranged the petals with her collection of silver and golden coloured toffee wrappers, put them in a match-box and gave it to Sundaram so that he could take it to the Mother as a gift from her. And from a very early age, she had developed a profound reliance on the Mother’s Grace and Power. Once, when she was quite young, she was travelling from Ahmedabad to Mumbai in a train with Sundaram and a few of his friends. At a station she got down from the train to buy a book to read during the journey. She selected a book of her favourite author Ayn Rand and while reading the blurb of the book got so engrossed that she did not notice that the train had started to move. When she turned back after purchasing the book, to her horrors she found that the train had already left the platform. She felt a chill going down her spine; her mind froze and she did not know what to do next. But she remained calm. She saw a gentleman—who had been observing her for quite some time and was looking for an opportunity to make acquaintance with her—walking towards her. Sudha told him about her plight. The gentleman took her to the station-master who, after being informed that Sudha was the daughter of Sundaram, the noted poet, provided her with a fresh railway ticket. He also ensured that a message was duly conveyed to the next railway station so that Sundaram could be informed that Sudha would be reaching Mumbai by such-and-such train. After everything was arranged, the gentleman remarked to Sudha: “You are too naïve for this mischief-ridden world. Somebody in my place would have exploited your plight and made you astray.” With humility but in a firm tone, Sudha answered back: “God protects those who are naïve and misfit. The other lot can take care of themselves. When I had set for this journey my divine Mother had blessed me. I believe no one can pierce Her protective aura.”

This conviction in the Mother’s Force and Grace had enabled Sudha to overcome many a setback in life. And the Mother too had always showered Her love on her. Dr. Kireet Joshi, the erstwhile Registrar of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education who later became the Educational Advisor to the Chief Minister of Gujarat and the first Executive Chairman of the Gujarat Educational Innovations Commission, was quite fond of Sudha and had once remarked after studying her horoscope that the Divine Mother’s Force kept her cupped in Her hands.

In the following two photographs, Sudha Sundaram can be seen with the Mother.

Birthday card given to Sudha by the Mother in 1968.

Having completed her education from the Ashram School in 1961, Sudha joined the Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education as a teacher of Biology. Afterwards she started to teach Gujarati and history to the pupils of the Centre of Education. As the Mother had asked her to work with Sundaram, she would work in the Gujarati section of the Ashram Press in the mornings and in the afternoons she taught at Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education. She also assisted Sundaram in publishing Dakshina—the reputed Gujarati quarterly—and Baldakshina, both started and edited by Sundaram. 

A brief history of these two well-known quarterlies would not be irrelevant here. Every evening, while returning from the Ashram Press, Sundaram would meet Purani in the latter’s room situated in the Ashram main building and both of them would discuss varied topics. One day, it occurred to them that something must be done to take the teachings and philosophy of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother to the people of Gujarat. Thus the idea of starting a quarterly in Gujarati germinated. The Mother too gave Her approval and blessings for this magazine. Purani consulted several Sanskrit dictionaries to select a suitable name for the proposed journal. Finally the name of Dakshina was selected. To the present author, Sudha Sundaram had once said: ‘Dakshina has many meanings but it was selected because it was a name of the Goddess of Discernment.’ The first issue of Dakshina was published on 15 August 1947 on the occasion of Sri Aurobindo’s seventy-fifth birthday with Sundaram as the editor. The inaugural issue was a great success and had to be reprinted. Translations from the works of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo as well as works of other authors were published in Dakshina which added a new richness to Gujarati prose. New columns were started by Sundaram to give the readers of Dakshina important news about Sri Aurobindo Ashram. Following the success of Dakshina, Sundaram started another magazine in Gujarati entitled Baldakshina which aimed to enlighten the growing minds of children and also to encourage them to write good poems and prose in Gujarati which were duly published in the magazine.

We would now share two interesting incidents which Sudha Sundaram had told the present author.

In the early hours of 5 December 1950, Sundaram was informed of Sri Aurobindo’s mahasamadhi by a sadhak named Jitendra Shroff. Sundaram asked his wife and daughter to get ready so that they could go to have the last Darshan of Sri Aurobindo. As Mangalagauri was unwilling to go for the Darshan, Sundaram and Sudha went to the Ashram main building where Sri Aurobindo’s body was kept in state in His room situated on the first floor. They made their obeisance to Him and then went to the room of Ambalal Purani downstairs. When they entered the room of Purani, the latter asked Sudha: “What did you see? Did you see God?” Sudha—who was then in her thirteenth year—answered: “He cannot die! He is God!” To the present author she had said that although Purani looked calm but it was evident that he was disturbed and somewhat a little shaken.

In the 1940s and early 50s, one could go up the staircase leading to the first floor of the Ashram main building which housed the apartments of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and wait at the landing. The Mother would open the door of Her apartments and meet the aspirant. Once, on the occasion of her birthday, Sudha had gone to see the Mother and was waiting at the landing when she heard the voice of Lakshmi-bai, an attendant of the Mother, telling quite loudly: “You don’t have to open the door, Mother. There is no birthday today.” Pat came the Mother’s reply: “No, I have to go. Sudha is waiting.” Before she could feel anything, Sudha heard the click of the door and the Mother was standing in front of her. She put flowers and toffees on Sudha’s palms and caressed her face, head and arms with Her soft fingers for quite a while. At the time of parting, the Mother planted a kiss on Sudha’s forehead. This was one of Sudha’s precious memories of the Mother.

Sudha was also an avid photographer. What started off as a casual interest soon got transformed into a passion and she made a name for herself as one of the finest photographers of the Ashram. In the 1960s, during Darshan days, when the Mother would appear to give ‘Terrace Darshan’ from the terrace of Her apartments situated on the second floor of the Ashram main building, Sudha would place herself at the roof of the Ashram Dispensary and take Her photographs. She washed the rolls, developed the negatives, printed the photographs and took them to Nolini Kanta Gupta on the very next day around 10.30 or 11 a.m. so that he could take the prints to the Mother who selected the photographs to be circulated. On the very first occasion, when Sudha had sent her photographs to the Mother for Her approval, she was quite bewildered when the photos were sent back to her with a ‘cross’ sign in the Mother’s handwriting at the back. When she was wondering what could have gone wrong with the photographs, she noticed a note from the Mother in which She had written that She had put a cross sign on all those photographs which She had approved for circulation. And Sudha heaved a sigh of relief!

Once, some days before a Darshan, Sudha had to leave Pondicherry to attend upon Sundaram who was to undergo a sudden surgery at a hospital in Gujarat. She wrote to the Mother stating that she was going to Gujarat to be with her father and that she did not know when would she return. The Mother gave Her blessings and wrote back: ‘Go, my child, and come back.’ When Sudha returned to Pondicherry after a few days, she met Nolini Kanta Gupta at the Ashram Playground. Nolini Kanta said to her: “Sudha, you know what the Mother has told me? Somebody had asked for Her Darshan photos. The Mother said, “I cannot give photos this time. My photographer was not present this Darshan.”’ One could easily comprehend how deeply touched Sudha was when she was informed of the Mother’s remark!

If the Mother needed a specific number of prints or some extra prints of Her photographs, She would ask Sudha: “My child, can you give me some prints?” And Sudha would reply: “Mother, you can have as many as you want!”

To the present author, Sudha had once said that she had taken five hundred and fifty-five photographs of the Mother out of which She had selected one hundred and six photos for circulation.

In December 1970, the Mother had sent word to all the department-heads of the Ashram that there would be a special Darshan for them on 1 January 1971 and that one person from every department could come to Her. Since Sundaram and Sudha were looking after the Sri Aurobindo Karyalaya—which supervised the publication of Dakshina and Baldakshina—both of them were allowed to go for the Mother’s Darshan. On the scheduled date, when all the heads of departments presented themselves at the Mother’s room, Champaklal told them that everyone should only walk past the Mother without trying to touch Her feet to make their obeisance, pick up a box of sweets kept for them on a tray and leave the room. The Darshan was quite a solemn affair and everyone followed Champaklal’s instruction to the letter.

But as a result of this particular Darshan, Sudha felt dazed and lost throughout the day. She felt that she should write to the Mother informing Her what she was feeling. She wrote to the Mother in French: ‘Mother, yesterday when we came to you, you took me somewhere (I don’t know where) but I cannot forget that land. I hope I can go more and more into that land.’ When the Mother received this letter through Nolini Kanta Gupta, She sent a rose for Sudha.

Then came Sudha’s birthday on 3 April 1971. When she went to the Mother, She caressed her face and arms and kissed her on the forehead. Sudha realized that nobody on earth could give her such love and that she should become more and more worthy of it. She wrote to the Mother on the next day: ‘Mother, yesterday when I came to you on my birthday, you have made me feel a kind of love which I have never felt till now. And I don’t think I will ever find it anywhere. Make me more and more worthy of your love.’ This letter too was sent to the Mother through Nolini Kanta Gupta who informed Sudha a day later that henceforth the Mother would see her on the third of every month. Naturally, Sudha was elated!

A few days before 3 May—the day she was scheduled to go to meet the Mother—a strange reluctance to visit the Mother arose in her. On one hand she was quite keen to go and meet the Mother but something was pulling her back. This inner tug-of-war continued till 3 May. Finally she went to the Mother and had Her blessed Darshan. But when she came out of the Mother’s room, she could feel her whole body feverish and aching terribly. It took her 3 to 4 days to recover. Again, next month, when she was to visit the Mother’s room on 3 June, the same tug-of-war reappeared. She overcame the inner struggle and had the Mother’s Darshan in Her room. But as soon as she came out of Her room, she could feel the same fever and body ache disturbing her again. But the intensity was a little less. Gradually, on every subsequent visit, she could feel the body ache decreasing. Finally, on 3 September, when she came out of the Mother’s room, she could feel that there was no body ache at all. The Mother had defeated for good the hostile elements that were bothering Sudha.

Sudha’s visits to the Mother’s room continued till 1973. On 3 March 1973, she had her last Darshan of the Mother in Her apartments. On 22 March—on the occasion of Sundaram’s birthday—when she accompanied her father to the Mother’s room, Champaklal came out with a bouquet of flowers and a birthday card for Sundaram. “Mother has sent these for you,” he said, “But She will not see you.” On 3 April, when Sudha went to the Mother’s room on the occasion of her own birthday, she too received a bouquet of flowers and a birthday card through Champaklal who told her: “Mother is not seeing anyone. Be happy with what She has sent.” Little did she know that she would not be able to meet the Mother again!

On 17 November 1973 Sudha had gone to Auroville to spend a day or two at the invitation of a friend named Tapas Bhatt. However, from evening onwards she began to feel restless and longed to return to Pondicherry. Despite the persuasions of her friend, she cycled back to Pondicherry and retired for the day. Around 2 or 2.30 in the morning, she was roused from her slumber by a knock on the window. When she opened it, she found Manoj Dasgupta, the present Managing Trustee of Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust and Registrar of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education, standing outside. He asked her to go to the Ashram at the earliest with her photography equipments as ‘someone important had passed away.’ Initially, she thought that maybe Nolini Kanta Gupta—at that time one of the senior-most inmates of the Ashram—or Abhay Singh Nahar—who was in charge of nineteen departments of the Ashram but suffering from diabetes—had passed on to the Beyond. So she asked her former student Arvind Mistry—who was staying in the same house—to take the equipments and both of them cycled to the Ashram main building. When they arrived near the Ashram Dispensary, they saw that lights were put up on the road and the gate leading to the Meditation Hall on the ground-floor of the Ashram main building was kept wide open. When she stepped inside the Meditation Hall, she received the shock of her life when she saw the Mother’s body on a couch. She stood in front of the Mother’s couch, absolutely transfixed. But she could feel a peace—as cold as an iceberg—descending down from her head till the tip of her toe. After gaining her inner tranquility, she took her last photographs of the Mother.  

Realizing that she would never be able to meet the Mother again on the physical plane, Sudha requested Viswajit Talukdar, another fellow-photographer, to take a snapshot of her with the Mother. She knelt before the Mother’s cot with her back facing the lens of the camera while Viswajit clicked a photograph.

To the present author, Sudha had said that Nolini Kanta Gupta and M. P. Pandit were the only people who took real interest in the spiritual camps Sundaram organized at Gujarat and that they were the ones who truly understood what he was doing. Here is an incident which would illustrate the profound inner bond which existed between Sundaram and Nolini Kanta Gupta. Once, when Sundaram was away from Pondicherry, he had to be admitted at a hospital for an emergency prostrate surgery. Sudha was informed about it over the phone and she was requested to reach the venue of the surgery at the earliest. Sudha rushed to the Ashram main building to meet Champakal; she informed him that she would have to leave Pondicherry and requested for a blessings packet. Champaklal said to her: “You are a teacher! How can you go? I will not give you blessings packet.” Utterly disappointed, Sudha walked to the Meditation Hall situated on the ground-floor of the Ashram main building where she saw Nolini Kanta Gupta standing. It seemed as if he had overheard the conversation between Champaklal and Sudha. He told Sudha: “So Champaklal didn’t give you the blessings packet! I will give it to you.” He went inside his office and came out with two blessings packets. He gave one to Sudha and said that it was for Sundaram; he gave her another blessings packet and said that it was for her. “Don’t mix up the two”, he cautioned. 

A major turning point came in Sudha’s life when her father Sundaram passed away on 13 January 1991. Sundaram had a premonition that he would be leaving his body soon. Every year he used to organize spiritual camps at various cities in Gujarat and after the end of each camp, he announced the date of the next one in advance. But after the completion of the spiritual camp which was held at Ompuri in October 1990, he did not announce the date of the forthcoming camp. Many were surprised but they realized the reason three months later. Interestingly, on 13 January 1990, Sundaram had written the following two lines in Gujarati in his diary: ‘Din aa chhe Vidaayno/ Agni ank Viraamno.’ (This is the Day of Departure / The day of rest in the bosom of fire.) Exactly a year later, on the same date, Sundaram passed on to the Beyond.

A fortnight or so before his demise, while climbing up the stairs leading to his bedroom on the first floor of his house, Sundaram had remarked to Sudha: “I am going up to rest. You take charge here below.” These words were prophetic for following his demise, the work of managing Sri Aurobindo Karyalaya—the department which published Dakshina—fell on her shoulders. She brought out the last issue of Dakshina which was its 108th issue. As Sundaram had left behind a large number of unpublished works, Sudha took up the responsibility of compiling and publishing them. She stopped teaching at Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education in 1993 so that she could devote more time to publish Sundaram’s works. It was a mammoth task and required Herculean efforts. Sudha—whom Sundaram used to call the ‘Prasad of Kanyakumari’ as she was born twenty years after his marriage following an ardent prayer at the shrine of Goddess Kanyakumari—devoted her days and nights to arrange the manuscripts and prepare the final typescripts. Under her editorship, twenty-one anthologies of Sundaram’s unpublished works saw the light of day. She also edited a Newsletter in Gujarati which was published by Sri Aurobindo Karyalaya. This Newsletter served as a regular link between Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry, and the devotees of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother spread all over Gujarat. A month and a half before each Darshan, she would start preparing for the Newsletter and during this time one would see her indrawn. There were moments when one could feel that she was in a state of contemplation. When the Newsletter was published, the first copy was sent to the Mother’s room and the rest was sent for distribution.

Owing to Sudha’s sincere efforts, Sundaram’s residence at Ahmedabad was converted into a Centre named Matrubhaban where the sacred Relics of Sri Aurobindo were enshrined. To enshrine the Relics, she personally supervised the construction of the shrine which had the same dimension of the Samadhi at Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry, as she did not believe in confining Sri Aurobindo in a small place as is done in many Centres. “For Sudha, the Relics emanated the living presence of her Lord—Sri Aurobindo reclining on His bed as Vishnu on the Shesh-Naga”, recalls Arvind Mistry. She also attended the various activities at Ompuri, a town in Gujarat which is being built on the lines of Auroville.

Sudha’s house at Pondicherry was like a meeting place for devotees. People not only from Gujarat but also from the West would flock to visit Sudha and share with her their problems and realizations. Sundaram had once told Sudha: “When a person comes to you, make sure that when he leaves, he goes with a smile.” And Sudha had followed her father’s advice to the letter. If someone asked her how one could feel the presence of the Mother, Sudha would explain how she felt Her presence when she kept herself absolutely silent in spite of something disturbing her. “If you also wait quietly, She will come to you. You just have to learn to wait,” she would say.

Arvind Mistry, Sudha’s former student and servitor, has shared the following vignette about her which would reveal a lesser-known trait of her personality:

‘Sudha-ben had purchased an aesthetically designed steel torch for a friend. The torch could throw a wide and narrow beam of light. I fell in love with it and was desperate to possess it to add it to my tool-kit. I requested her to give it to me. She gently refused. I still urged her to gift it to me. She uttered an emphatic ‘No’. As my last ploy, I told her: “Since you have not spoken to the person you intend to give the torch, then where is the problem? That person is not expecting it and would not mind it. He won’t even come to know about it. There is no commitment to fulfil it.” Sudha-ben said: “My being is committed to the person: whether he knows about it is immaterial. I have to live up to my being’s truth, my nature’s ethics.”’

The present author had met Sudha Sundaram at Pondicherry for the first time on 14 November 2017 at the residence of Gauri Pinto, Sudha’s dearest friend. That year, Gauri Pinto’s birthday was being celebrated two days earlier and the author was one of the invitees. Around 4.30 p.m., there was a commotion in the courtyard of Gauri’s residence and many of the guests peeped out from the hall on the first floor to see what had happened. Someone exclaimed: “Sudha Sundaram has fallen down! Her head is bleeding!” Gauri—who was confined to a chair owing to a fractured leg—asked people around her to go downstairs to help Sudha. The author was one of those who rushed out. By that time, Sudha was helped to stand on her feet and made to take a seat on a chair. Someone said that she should be taken to the Ashram Dispensary immediately. The author volunteered to take her. He helped her to get up and took her to the Ashram Dispensary which wasn’t quite far off. On the way, he introduced himself to Sudha. “Oh! You are Anurag!” she said, “I have heard about you. You are quite famous.” Upon inquiry, she narrated how she fell down. When Sudha was about to climb up the stairs leading to the first floor hall of Gauri Pinto’s house, she saw two of Gauri’s pets sleeping on the steps. Being a pet-lover herself, she chose not to disturb them. As she was about to walk past them, she lost her balance and fell on her face on the stairs. Although the Ashram Dispensary had closed at 5 p.m. fortunately there were a couple of ladies who came to attend on her; they dressed Sudha’s wound, applied a dressing pad and put a sticking plaster on it. She was given some medicines and asked to come back to the Ashram Dispensary for another round of dressing after two days. From the Dispensary, Sudha and the author walked back to Gauri’s residence where Sudha spent the evening chatting with her friends. After dinner, she asked the author: “How long are you in Pondicherry?” “Till 27th November”, he replied. “So when are we going to meet next?” “Whenever you say.” “Come on 17th evening after the Darshan ends.” Thus an appointment was fixed.

Sudha Sundaram with Gauri Pinto and Lata Jauhar on 14th November 2017 after returning from the Ashram Dispensary. Photographs taken by Anurag Banerjee.

On 17 November 2017, the author went to meet Sudha Sundaram at her residence. She was seated on a wooden chair in the drawing room downstairs. There were two cats around her. I greeted her and she reciprocated with a smile and spontaneous warmth. The next one and a half hours were spent in her delightful company. She also showed him the bedroom of Sundaram where his bed and writing desk were beautifully decorated with the Mother’s photographs and fresh flowers. “Every Darshan, I change the photographs on this bed,” Sudha said. When he was about to take leave of her, Sudha gifted him a copy of In Awareness, an anthology of Sundaram’s poems translated into English by Dhanavanti Nagda which had been published under the editorship of Sudha some years ago. Thus commenced a beautiful association between Sudha Sundaram and the present author.

Signed copy of “In Awareness” gifted to Anurag Banerjee.

Sudha was not a conversationalist but the way she used to recount incidents of the bygone era was a delight to the ear. She held A.B. Purani, Pujalal and Nolini Kanta Gupta in high esteem and recounted beautiful vignettes about them. It was through the tales of Sundaram narrated by her to the present author that he developed an avid interest in the life and works of the great poet and eventually wrote his biography which was corrected and approved by her. She had also graciously gifted Overman Foundation a pen and a watch used extensively by Sundaram and a typewriter gifted to him by the Mother in 1948 on which he had typed articles for Dakshina. She was particularly pleased when the present author had gifted her some photographs of her with the Mother which she had not seen before.

Sudha was an exceptionally attentive listener—a quality which is rarely found. At times the present author would find many people sitting around her conversing in Gujarati while she listened to them and answered in short sentences. After the end of every conversation, she would give a smile the beauty of which was indescribable. There were also some devotees who came to visit her but instead of engaging themselves in long conversations preferred to spend their time in silence. The author remembers having met a nonagenarian gentleman who would visit Sudha in the evenings and spend an hour or so without uttering a single word. He would sit quietly, have the meal served to him quietly and only at the time of taking his leave that he would say, “I’m going now.” And Sudha would bid him farewell with a loving smile. To the present author she had said about this gentleman: “He visits Pondicherry on every Darshan and comes to meet me without fail. But he hardly speaks! He just sits here in perfect silence and leaves quietly.” “He must be getting something inwardly through the silence which prevails in this room,” the author said. “Could be,” Sudha responded, “My father used to tell me that if anyone comes to meet you, ensure that he leaves with a smile.”

A striking feature of Sudha’s personality was that she never spoke ill of anyone. Even if she was hurt by someone’s behaviour, she would reveal that she was hurt indeed but she never retaliated. If she found any topic unfavourable, she would either become silent or change the topic itself.

While Gauri Pinto was her dearest friend in the Ashram since the time she became an inmate in the 1940s, Sudha was also quite close to Dhanavanti Nagda with whom she had a special bond. When in August 2022, the present author had told Sudha how disoriented and lost Dhanavanti had become and narrated an incident which made his eyes go moist, Sudha was visibly saddened. “This must never happen to a sadhak!” she had remarked.

The author had met Sudha Sundaram for the last time in February 2023. She looked healthy and was her usual sweet self. In the evening of 1 August 2023, he spoke to her for the last time.  Dhanavanti Nagda had passed on to the Beyond on that very day so their talks revolved mostly around the departed soul. In fact, it was from the author that Sudha had come to know of Dhanavanti’s demise.

On the next day, that is, 2 August, Sudha asked Arvind Mistry to stay with her longer. For the past five months, Arvind used to spend the night at Sudha’s residence to escort her to the washroom. But as a result of this strain, Arvind’s health had deteriorated and it did not escape the ever-watchful eyes of Sudha. She had told Arvind that she would be able to manage at night and added: “For all of us Mother is beside us. You come whenever you feel like coming.”

On 4 August, when Arvind arrived at Sudha’s residence, he saw that she had collapsed at the washroom while taking her bath and the maid was unable to bring her back to her senses. There was a sudden fall in her sugar-level owing to which she had fainted. Sudha was carried to her room, dressed up and made to lie on her bed. Arvind called up his brother Kanu Mistry and a few friends who took Sudha—still unconscious—to the General Hospital where she was put on intravenous. When her reports came, Kanu Mistry took them to Sudha’s room who opened her eyes as soon as he stepped in. She asked: “Kanu, why are you here?” “Because you are here,” replied Kanu. From that day onwards, Sudha was absolutely conscious and smiling. But the reports revealed that she had been quite ill since 2022 but she had not uttered a word about it barring a few to whom she had said: “I am with the Mother. She is protecting me. I know when my time comes, I will go.”

Arvind Mistry recalls: ‘With her intelligence and awareness, Sudha-ben knew the nature of her physical ailment and its ultimate consequences. There was no talk or deliberation to anyone. For the past one year she had started to prepare herself. Her approach was fearless. Subtly and quietly she was distancing herself so that none of her friends and folks would suffer the pain of her loss. She obliterated and blurred out her presence by withdrawing from her activities and other social exchanges. Inwardly she was invoking the Mother’s presence and Her constant help. She kept with her in a cane basket her mobile phone, bottles of homeopathy medicines and a laminated card. This card had a coloured photograph of the Mother with Her writing “I am near You” with Her bold signature. On the reverse side of this card, there was a prayer in Sanskrit copied by Sudha-ben from Bhavan’s Journal: “anāyāsena maraṇaṃ vinādainyena jīvanaṃ/
dehānte tava sānnidhyam dehī me parameśvaram” which means: “A death without suffering or pain,/A life without humiliation or misery/At death your nearness,/O Supreme Lord, grant me this.” Sudha-ben’s wish was fulfilled.’ 

Front page of the card.

The Sanskrit prayer copied by Sudha Sundaram.

Nobody could sense how much she was suffering silently for over a year. Whenever she was asked why she had concealed the nature of her illness, she either kept silent or diverted the issue to some other topic. When repeated persuasions irked her, she would calmly say: “No need to know. When the time comes, I will inform you.” She looked at all physical inconvenience with a smile. After spending three days in the General Hospital where she was kept under observation, she was discharged. From the General Hospital she was brought to the Ashram Nursing Home where she spent the next few days. She also met several visitors who had come to meet her. But none could gauge the nature of her illness for she looked happy and was always smiling.

After spending a few days at the Ashram Nursing Home, Sudha was admitted to the New Medical Centre where a surgery was conducted and her uterus was removed. She slept well on the night of 9 September. In the morning of Sunday, 10 September 2023, she was served her breakfast. She took a bite of an idli and then refused to eat. Arvind, who was with her, said: “If you don’t eat how would you become strong?” “No, I will throw out,” Sudha said. When she refused to eat the idli, Arvind asked her: “Dear, had I given you vada instead of idli, you would have relished it to your heart’s content and asked for more.” Sudha closed her eyes and smiled—for the last time. “It was a most beautiful smile that I have seen on a human face and not just on her face. It was ETHEREAL!” recalls Arvind. She eventually puked a little. Around ten minutes later, her attendant who was standing at the left side of her bed gave a shriek for she had become unresponsive. The doctors came and tried to resuscitate her but in vain. At 8.30 a.m. Sudha Sundaram left her body.  

Sundaram would ask Sudha to link and connect herself with the Mother. That is exactly what Sudha had done. She fought her problems on her own, smilingly and with a profound faith in the Mother.

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About the Author: Born on 13th October 1984 to Jayanta and Sanghamitra Banerjee (eminent actress of Bengali cinema), Anurag Banerjee is a multiple award-winning poet, essayist, researcher, biographer and translator. A former faculty at NexGen Institute of Business and Technology, Kolkata and Sri Aurobindo Centre for Advanced Research (SACAR), Pondicherry, he established the Overman Foundation, one of India’s leading research institutes dedicated to the ideals of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, at the age of twenty-five in March 2010. He has lectured in several national symposiums and seminars organized by Sri Aurobindo Centre for Advanced Research, Sri Aurobindo Bhavan (Kolkata), National Council of Education and Jadavpur University and authored more than two hundred and fifty research papers which have been published in anthologies and journals of repute. He is a Trustee of Sri Aurobindo Sakti Centre Trust which runs the Sri Aurobindo Bal Mandir School at New Alipore, Kolkata, and editor of Srinvantu, one of the oldest bi-annual journals of West Bengal dedicated to an exposition of the teachings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. In April 2011, he received the prestigious Nolini Kanta Gupta Smriti Puraskar awarded by ‘Srinvantu’ and Sri Aurobindo Bhavan, Kolkata. In December 2021 he received the Shiksha Bharati Award’ from the Indian Achievers’ Forum ‘in Recognition of Outstanding Professional Achievement & Contribution in Nation Building’. In 2024 he received the Golden Book Award (declared Asia’s most prestigious book award by the Business Standard newspaper) for his magnum opus, Sri Aurobindo and His Ashram in Contemporary Newspapers.

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Sudha Sundaram: A Pictorial Tribute

From left to right: Udar Pinto, Togo Mukherjee, Tejendranath Mukherjee, Biswajit Talukdar, Usha Patel, Parul Chakraborty, Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya, Ravibala, Gauri Pinto and Sudha Sundaram.

The following photographs are of three friends inseparable since childhood: Lucy Nahar, Gauri Pinto and Sudha Sundaram.

Sudha Sundaram with Anurag Banerjee on 27 November 2017 at her residence.

The following four photographs featuring Sudha Sundaram with Suprabha Nahar, Bernard Cazade and Sumitra Nahar were taken by Anurag Banerjee at the Nahar residence on 3 March 2018.

Sudha Sundaram with Anurag Banerjee on 16 December 2019.

Sudha Sundaram with Anurag Banerjee on 16 August 2022.

The last photograph was taken on 25 August 2023, sixteen days before her demise.

Photographs courtesy: Late Sudha Sundaram, Ms. Gauri Pinto, Shri Arvind Mistry and Shri Anurag Banerjee.