Not many people are aware of the fact that the Mother had a unique bond of love and affection with Dilip Kumar Roy (1897-1980), one of Sri Aurobindo’s most favourite disciples. Sri Aurobindo is reported to have written the maximum number of letters to Dilip Kumar Roy. Even after Sri Aurobindo’s accident in November 1938 which resulted in the cessation of all correspondence between Him and His other disciples, the epistolary exchanges between Sri Aurobindo and Dilip Kumar went on till the end of 1950.
But not many people know that the Mother too had written numerous letters to Dilip Kumar. We take the opportunity of publishing a dozen of such letters written to Dilip Kumar Roy by the Mother.
With warm regards,
‘For God’s sake come back to your common sense!
I never said that I would see you no more. Sri Aurobindo asked you only to be a little patient, as for the “silent expressionless love” He is not conscious of having written to you anything of the kind.
Now, about my “grudging” smile—I will tell you what I said to Sri Aurobindo when I met Him to-day at 1.30. Relating what happened in the morning at pranam, I told Him, concerning you: “There is a letter of Dilip to you and I do not know what he writes, but I can assure you that when he (Dilip) came to me this morning, I gave him a good, long blessing and my best smile.”
You can understand that I felt somewhat astonished when I heard that my best smile was a grudging one. Are you quite sure that you did not look in your head at what you imagined would be, instead of looking at my face?…
Your going away is quite out of question. I want you to remain here because I know that it is here—and here only—that you can and will be happy.
Why do you ask for my love? Is it not long since you have it already?
November 17, 1931.’
Why do you speak of “the ultimate human disappearance of the Mother?” I have—I assure you—not the least intention of disappearing or vanishing, humanly or otherwise; and those who care to see me with their physical eyes can feel quite at ease on this point.
If you permit, I would advise you never to listen to what sadhaks say—especially advanced sadhaks…’
December 29, 1931.’
‘I have felt and been moved by the sincerity of your letter. Do not be too sorry. In a way what has happened was for the best since it has led you to take a firm and decisive resolution which must help you greatly to get rid of this trouble. Be sure of all the help I can give you.
I will call you again as soon as this flood of departing people has diminished a little. Meanwhile, “bon courage!”
August 18, 1932.’
‘You can be reassured—it is quite certain that Sri Aurobindo cannot make such a mistake! As he says that you are sure to succeed, it means that you will succeed and become quite a good yogi after all.
Don’t let troubles and difficulties depress you. The greater the difficulties the greater the victory hereafter.
November 1, 1932.’
‘I am very sorry you did not come yourself with the money, as I would have had an opportunity to tell and show you that your impression of this morning was mere imagination and a bad one too. I can assure you that I have been at pranam time exactly as I am every day, but I noticed sadness and unsatisfaction [sic] in your eyes, so it must be the very expression of your own eyes which you saw reflected in mine,—but it was not mine.
You ought to drop altogether and once for all this idea that I get displeased—it sounds to me so strange! If I could get thus displeased in presence of the human weaknesses, I would certainly not be fit to do the work I am doing, and my coming upon earth would have no meaning.
Do give up once for all this idea of defeat and this gloom which is so contrary to the inner truth of your being. I want you to pick yourself up and be perfectly cheerful and confident for your coming birthday.
I hope to see you entirely yourself again this evening from the roof and to-morrow at pranam and to have a happy and intimate talk with you on Monday.
January 14, 1933.’
‘Dilip, (I almost feel inclined to add: big child!)
You are quite mistaken. I enjoyed your music very much; indeed it was quite beautiful. But as I am to see you tomorrow, I was keeping the subject for then—as I have some rather interesting details to give which, I think will please you, but would be somewhat too long to write. I can also explain better these things orally, give them with the voice a life that the pen can’t give. But I never expected that you would take such a short silence for a sign of indifference—as this was extremely far from my consciousness!
Á demain donc, joyeusement [Tomorrow then, happily].
P.S. I leave to Sri Aurobindo to answer for himself—but meanwhile I can tell you that he praised your music very much.
March 20, 1934.’
‘Why didn’t you come yourself with the money? I would have seen you for a few minutes and told you something interesting and helpful as an answer to your letter of this morning. For in speaking it would have been better than anything I could write. At pranam time I felt that you were still depressed and I thought that I would try to pour on you some of the Divine forces. I was looking at you for such a long time and it was Divine love that I was pouring on you with a strong will that you should become conscious of the Divine Presence in you and see all your sorrows turn into Ananda. I saw to my great joy that you were very receptive to all these Divine forces and absorbing them without resistance as they were pouring down! When I read your letter and saw that you thought you had received only some human kindness it struck me that it was only a misunderstanding of the mind, almost a question of vocabulary that was standing in the way, and if you could see this all or most of your doubts would disappear for ever and with them your painful difficulties. For what I was pouring in you was not merely human kindness—though surely it contained all that human kindness can be at its best—but Mahalakshmi’s love, Mahasaraswati’s care, Maheswari’s embracing and enveloping light. Do not think of Divine Love as something cold or impersonal or distantly high—it is something as warm and close and tender as any feeling can possibly be. It does not abolish whatever is pure and sweet in human love, but intensifies and sublimates it to its highest. It is this love that the Divine has to give and that you must open yourself to receive. I think if you realise this, it will be easier for you to pierce through the mental veil and receive what you are longing to receive.
September 7, 1933.’
‘After reading your letter now, just a word to tell you that you are mistaken; I actually missed your presence at pranam and I am sorry you did not come. If you had listened inwardly you would have heard me calling you.
April 17, 1935.’
‘I was with you in thought at the time of the music. I hope you are all right now as a beginning not of a few months but of many years of non-depression—depression of the consciousness is worse than dispersion of consciousness, so do be energetic to throw it away when it comes.
November 25, 1937.’
‘It was a very good prayer and I received it at the time, a good part of it in the very words you had used. I am also glad to know that you felt something of my answer; it shows that the inner connection is growing and that is a very encouraging sign.
November 26, 1937.’
‘All right—you can have the old Baron (I am glad he is here for a time) and also “le Directeur de l’Instruction Publique” and his wife.
Blessings on you and the music!
December 4, 1937.’
‘That is all right. I approve your answer about going in March. I hope that you will succeed in all the objects which you have enumerated—you will receive our full help for that.
Indeed you have much progressed both as to grumbling and in other directions. Yes one does change and the complete change is sure.
What you said to Sahana about N.’s death was quite the right thing.
Our love and blessings.
December 8, 1937.’